this has gone too far
your honor, my client is innocent. like, come on. for real. come on, your honor. seriously dude
imagine you wake up one morning and open your eyes and your room is filled with every single celebrity you find attractive and they’re all doing the macarena
If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.
i seriously just had the thought “i wonder if I could rush from the computer to the top of the fridge to squat in the 3 seconds photobooth gives me”